The ‘Game’ of Dating & Success with Women

I want to take a look into the subculture of ‘the game’. Yes, I know Neil Strauss and read his book but I’m talking primarily about the African-American subculture and their relational dynamics.

I’m also not talking about the rapper ‘The Game’ either.

A lot of power and energy is centered around the desire for sex, put quite bluntly. African-Americans are just more open about it than most ‘white’ people who are dealing with a lot more
personal repression.

Black dudes could teach white dudes all kinds of things about the game. The thing is though that it’s limited in a way. If you define yourself as a player, you become a social stereotype
unless you are the rare man who can transcend it and combine your skills with something greater.

The black dudes that are looking for ways to transcend it are the ones who are going to outscore major players when it comes to the ladies especially when they don’t have the bling and bucks just yet. That takes a lot of self-respect to admit you want to be even better than you are.

I’m not limited to any sub-culture or it’s rules. I broke through that a long time ago. I massively respect guys who don’t limit themselves to the confines of one subculture and
the attainment of higher status just to impress others.

Be yourself. Be greater than it all while still holding your roots. I represent many things within myself; not just one thing or city.

With the dynamics as they are, I think all men should take a look into things anyways because women are used to living the fantasy more than the reality. Porn is a fantasy. Sex itself
is reality.

Bridging the gap between the sexes is what I’m working on but it’s up to each to hold his own and frankly, too many players are just trying too hard.

Look at phrases such as ‘don’t hate the player, hate the game.’

‘The Game’ is taken as a social reality and the women take a major role in it.

How is it that women know when one man is a ‘player’? When they see him approach, then they’ll judge him on his skill level or ability of the ‘game’ and his level of congruency to it.

African-American’s widely consider ‘the game’ with women and sex just what it is; ‘the game’ (which can also refer to the social power game of status). Either you have ‘game’ or you don’t.

Those men that DO ‘have game’ are usually viewed with respect and have women on rotation for booty calls.

Those who don’t have game go through all kinds of psychological torment on themselves and around women. They put the pussy on a pedestal even more than they already do.

The entire concept of ‘the game’ as it’s indoctrinated within the African-American community is that it still clearly puts the woman as the sexual (read; social) ‘prize’.

Powerful independent African-American roles models such as Beyonce have influenced the behavior of women. The women are strong; I know from experience and observation. It’s a lot for
a man to deal with if he doesn’t know his relationship to her different types of power.

Of course there is a higher level of ‘game’ that is all socially based. Being a ‘baller’ or pro sports athlete will attract women to you. Owning a strip club, making big bucks and having pimped out cars will all attract women to you.

The highest social status men in the subculture are record producers, athletes and rap stars.

This to many is the ultimate status symbol; power and influence with a lot of social status. It’s a sign of ‘I made it. Look at me and where I came from.’ At that point, they can fulfill
their fantasies of having women all around them at the peak of ‘the game’.

Or is a lot of that really just the effective transmutation of all the sexual energy around you? Or is it really still a fantasy and women are just around you because of your social
status?

Either way, if you have your goals set, you can effectively use it to your advantage (sex). Ultimately women should appreciate you for you and not for your social status. Jay-Z quips about not knowing if women are with him for him or with him for his money.

Black men have a lot of personal authority and can harness it more effectively with the ladies if they were aware of certain things. I’ve seen strong men of personality and character but
when it comes to women, they’re dealing with a lot of issues that white guys are dealing with; putting the pussy on a pedestal.

Behavioral conditioning like that takes some real answers. Seeing a woman for something other than a sex object will allow you to end up at sex faster. It’s not that you’re being ‘whiter’ or anything, rather all women share the same biological characteristics.

Transcend the social game and it’s limitations and get women turned on by you for being your intensive self.

If you’re going to play the game for being in the game you may as well go ‘direct’ and just be straightforward with women about what your lifestyle is before they even have a chance to object.

That way they can join you or not.

If you’ve been basing success with women socially…let go of that.

Let social status take second place to a newly awakened ‘natural’ game. That way you’ll be succeeding even when you haven’t made it ‘big’ yet.

It almost takes putting away your pride to open up to a higher level of reality. The results are worth it that I’ve experienced.

It’s like being humble and realizing your mistakes so that you can accelerate your success.

The ultimate ladies man is ‘above the game’. He knows it’s not a game or a fantasy, instead it’s a lifestyle. He doesn’t appear as a player because he is so comfortable around women yet before they know it, they’re in bed with him because of his understanding of women and relational dynamics.

There’s no barrier for the woman to put up to reject him because he’s not putting her social sexploitation attributes on a pedestal; he sees right through it.

She can’t reject him if he’s just making a connection. She can’t tell where he’s coming from and all of a sudden she’s exchanged information with him and they are getting together and she’s excited about it.

There’s things to be learned in different ways. I’ve drawn influence and knowledge from all different subcultures to MY advantage. Keep an open mind to learning something from the best of the best outside your own subculture and take it to YOUR advantage.

We’re all in the process of learning and growing and I’ve had many African-American, African and Jamaican friends before. I’ve learned things from them and I’ll continue to.

Continue to evolve. I’ve been with women from dozens of countries including the U.S. and I love women. I’m ‘above the game’ because I don’t limit myself to being a social stereotype.

I’m the multi-cultural, invisible player in a way. There’s a lot of value out there and hopefully I can help some guys see things in a new light.

Rion Williams is one of the foremost experts in dating advice, personal power and social dynamics.